Sightly more positive than yesterday.....

....I can walk ALMOST like a normal person again! WAHOOP!

And.....the results are in.....weigh in Saturday has been and gone and I am delighted to say....

I lost!

Again!

3lbs!!

Even during a week of (enforced) no training/exercise!

I am flabbergasted!

This means I am OFFICIALLY at the 30lbs target!! WOOOOOOP!

I weighed in this morning at 10 stone 9.5lbs (149.5lbs). I AM BLOODY WELL OUT OF THE 150's- ok, so it's by half a pound but YAAAAAAAY!!!!

I cannot believe it.

It's so good for me to realise that I don't have to exercise like it's going out of fashion in order to lose weight. It's good to be reminded that this way of eating works (for me) and suits my lifestyle and pace.

I feel about a million times better today. Thanks for your lovely comments yesterday. I will let you know how it goes with the physio referral....*gulp*

I am going out tonight with my dad's side of the family. We're having dinner together as part of our Annual Whobilation. This year - I am Cindy Lou Who.......I'm sure there will be pictures!

Have a fabulous Saturday night

lovelove BFP xoxox

Dark Days :(

My deepest apologies, dear friends, for the lack of blog action. It has been a particularly low and trying week for me. (Though I have to say I feel a great deal more positive today). Long story short, I’m injured :(

But before I launch into what I’m sure will be a total whine-fest, let me first preface this by saying I am aware this is completely self-indulgent post AND that yes, there IS a bigger picture and there are people going through the most heinous of circumstances right now for whom there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I know this in my rational mind. I am blessed. I am lucky. But I am STILL mightily PISSED OFF! Please don't judge me...



I have had a pain in my hip for a few weeks, which I had assumed was just a little over-stretched from yoga or from squats in BodyPump. I ran through it. Trained through it. Paid particular attention to my hip flexors, making sure they were warmed up and down and stretched out properly. Figured that would be enough. Trained like a mad woman last Friday – ran for an hour, did an hour’s Body Pump where I upped my weights a little. Weighed in on Saturday. Lost 4lbs. Much rejoicing. Noticed my hip socket ached when I walked to the Post Office to collect a parcel (Elf outfit – whole other story) so didn’t do anything on Saturday. By Saturday night I was popping Ibuprofen and in quite a lot of pain. Sunday though, felt ok (er..hello….6 painkillers!) so I did BodyPump. I was late (having been very busy lying on the sofa all the live long day) and the class was starting so I was jogging around the studio to collect my Bar Bell and step and weights and whatnot and I noticed I couldn’t really rely on my hip joint as my leg impacted. I took it easy in the class, particularly squats and lunges and went home, thinking nothing of it. Monday I had a meeting to attend in Manchester (about an hour away) and involved walking to and from train stations and meeting venues and meeting my sister for a lightning-quick cup of coffee before heading back to work. Guys, it was actually painful just to walk! I was hobbling around like a little old woman! *SOB* Stupid thing is I STILL went to the gym Monday night! I did pilates (thinking stretching would help) and walked a little on the treadmill (because I couldn’t physically run).

As I am typing this I am like ‘ WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU NUTTER!!!??’. And this brings me to my current freak out – I am hopelessly addicted to working out. Shit! HOW did it get to this soooooo quickly!? This is soooooo old ground for me – the ‘must-workout-at-all-costs’ vibe. And now I am properly injured. Chris (PT) took a look at it Wednesday to see if sports massage might help but couldn’t even do that because my hip is so visibly bruised. Friends, I am in a bit of a pickle. We’re now at Friday – he has categorically banned me from all exercise until further notice and told me to see a physio. I guess I should be glad of his ethical and professional stance but really I am mostly just annoyed right now. And panicky. I was completely unprepared for this overly emotional reaction. I spent yesterday alternating between sobbing and getting mad at people who said things like ‘Have patience’, ‘Cheer up’ ‘It’s Christmas – now you can eat what you like!’ AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! That kind of thinking is precisely what got me into being fat in the first place. The thought of not exercising makes me feel itchy and stressed. Not a normal reaction Elizabeth!

I’ve been hobbling around the office for a few days now, so they have referred me to Occupational Health which means I can see a physiotherapist for free (thanks GOD!) but that’s not till Monday. Patience is sooooooo not one of my strong points and I am not a good patient EVER! Rationally I know that one week off training won’t make a huge difference, and that by next week I will know more and be having treatment and that sports injury physios can help devise me a training programme whilst I’m injured but I am stressed that my muscle tone will go and the weight will pile on. This makes me click into that long-forgotten and dealt with almost default setting of ‘RESTRICT!’ – thinking in terms of calories permanently (and boring the arse off everyone talking about it all the time), doing crazed calculations of calories in and calories expended and panicking anytime anyone mentions food. The twice daily weighing. The scrutinising of my body in the mirror. This is so not healthy behaviour, and I worked damn hard over the years to change this behaviour and thought patterns. I am morbidly fascinated by how QUICKLY it has come back into being. I guess you’re never too ‘safe’. All that bloody work I’ve done on my mind and body, focusing on strength and being capable rather than repeating the mantra - surely it’s not for nothing. Surely I am more knowledgeable now?

I just feel so sad. I was on such a roll and goal was in sight. I feel a bit……lost. Like nobody understands. Bloggies??! Help!

So there you go. Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea and insight into the neuroses of my head. I’m ok, really. Just need to get this in perspective. Both hip and knee feel improved today but still limping. Definitely going to go ahead with physio as soon as I can, if only so I can get back to some level of training as soon as possible. I absolutely cannot wait until after Christmas before I can start working out again – this time of year is my all time favourite and I need to balance it with some form of exercise. Apparently I need to balance my exercise too….maybe once I’m healed I need to actually listen to my trainer and not over train. Will I learn my lesson? God, I hope so.

Yours, frustratedly,

Lxoxo

Doing the Happy Dance!

Hello friends!!!!! I am very much a happy big fat pie this Saturday evening!!!! I have sung my heart out to Christmas Carols while drying the dishes for the past hour while hubby does an essay. I have waited and waited for him to get off the computer but he is still typing away and I am desperate to tell you my news so have resorted to BlackBerry blogging!

As you know, I've been a bit stuck this past few weeks at the darn scale which stubbornly refused to budge, obstinate creature that it is! Some of you encouraged me to eat more of my activity points this week, which I have done, and only exercised every other day rather than every day. And......

.....The results are in.......

This week, I...........LOST!!

4lbs!!!!!!!!

Wahoooooooop!!!!!!!!


This tales me finally, finally FINALLY under the 11 stone mark (154lbs) which I have been desperate to achieve for aaaaaaaaages!!!!!! - am 10 stone 12.5 which is...um....hold on....*does some maths*....... 152.5lbs!!! HOW GREAT is THAT??!!!!

Needless to say I am super happy!!! Ironically, I am now only half a pound over what I was this exact day in November 2006, otherwise known as the first time I did ww!!! So hopefully my Christmas challenge and NSV of fitting into my Christmas Day dress from 2006 for Christmas Day 2009 moght actually happen!!! YIKES!!!

Dudes, I am absolutely buzzin!! This health thing really works!!! Yaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

Right, it's 5:30pm and we have the parents coming over soon so I better dash. Remind me to tell you about the sports massage experience I had this week!!!!

Love to you all, have a great weekend


Love BFP xoxo
------------------

So, apparently....

...I need to get me one of those HRM thingies??!!

A splendid gift for a husband to give to his wife for Christmas, don'tcha think?!

So, my lovelies, on this most Thankful of days, I am once again imploring you to please comment and help me tackle which bloody HRM to go with!! I gather that 'Polar' are the brand to go with, and I have figured out that I need an 'FT' model - for fitness right? So I can wear it in BodyPump etc not just when I am running??! Is that right!?

So YIKES - er hello overwhelming choice!!!

And also, HOW DOES IT WORK?? Do I have to wear one of those strap thingies around my rib cage? Or is it like a watch?! I don't get it!!! What does it calculate? Can it measure how far I run as well as calories burned etc? Have you got one? Is it good? Does it help?!

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

************************************************************************************

While I'm here, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my lovely American bloggy pals! I heart you all and am very thankful that you all blog!!! I wish you a happy, healthy, joyful Thanksgiving aka Turkey day!!! Try not to eat yourselves into a food coma.....but if you do, make like Joey Tribiani and wear Clown pants!!!!

"This land is my land....this land is your land...." etc etc!!

Huge Blessings,

BFP xoxo

Update!

Hi dudes! Bit of a mixed bag of late to be honest! I am stuck in a rut! Sooooo annoying. Been stuck at 155lbs for 4 weeks on the run now and those blasted scales are just refusing to move, even with all the workouts I’m doing and all the tracking and counting and planning! Guys, it is so frustrating!!!!!!! Gained a pound this week, so back up to 156lbs GRRRRRRRR!

Mr Trainer reckons I am not eating enough. This puzzles me as I am sticking to points. Mrs WW Guru thinks I am eating too much of the same things, which also puzzles me as surely the calories are the same so it should equal a loss. Sometimes it feel like there’s no bloody rhyme or reason to this weight loss malarkey! I thought it was supposed to be scientific!!!!

So I am feeling stuck. The thing I struggle with, is that I really have no idea in terms of calories what I take in and what I expend through exercise and whilst inactive. WW activity points are so hit and miss and (I think) inaccurate – and people totally overestimate them. I am forever hearing members say at the scales,things like ‘Well I’ve taken the stairs instead of the lift and walked the dog around the block twice’ and then when they’ve gained, the ‘reason’ is ‘well, I’ve probably built muscle this week with *all* my exercise’. Honestly, that level of self delusion makes me want to SCREAM!!!! Obviously, any level of exercise has to be gradual and built up slowly, particularly if there’s a lot of weight to lose and all that jazz BUT I think we kid ourselves quite often!!! It’s taken me MONTHS to build up bloody muscle!!!! It takes a LOT of exercise to earn activity points!

So, come on you whizz kids – HELP! How do I find out what I am burning calorie wise, to make sure I am eating enough?! Is there a magic formula?!

For example. If I run 4 miles in about 40 minutes, cycle for 20 minutes and row for 15 minutes and then do an hour’s Body Pump class and then an hour’s yoga, what’s the calorie burn?!

What should I be eating AFTER I work out to replenish stocks?? I spend so long in the gym that when I get in at 9pm I don’t WANT to eat a big massive meal!!

OH I AM STRESSING OUT! I seriously need that Jillian Michaels woman to come and live at my house and just advise me!!


PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE comment with your wise words dudes!!!

On a far more positive note, I had to get on the dreaded scales of doom at my PT session last Friday. Now, let me preface this by saying that I *think* I am full-on hormonal at the moment (sorry if this is TMI but er hello get used to it!! Lol) and thus feel like the side of a house. Suffice it to say that I was somewhat reluctant to stand on that stupid machine whilst it pinged electricity around my body to gauge all the fat and visceral fat and metabolic age and lean muscle and hydration and all that hoo haa………but BOY AM I GLAD I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is with great shame that I must inform you that when I began training with my PT in March, the metabolic age of my poor body was…..dunh, dunh,dunnnnnnnnhhhhh…..FORTY BLOODY NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And in the obese category… I was then THIRTY YEARS OLD!!!!! OH. EMM. ACTUAL.GEE. I am EXTREMELY glad that he refrained from sharing this particular gem of information with me, as it would have most certainly tipped me over the edge!

I am now 31 years old (*sob*), and in 7 months I have lowered my metabolic, big fat pie age to….wait for it…..THIRTY THREE! Thirty freaking THREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! In 7 months I have sweated, sit upped, ab curled, run, stepped, cross trained, lifted, pumped, cried, moaned, told my PT to shut up and then done it anyway, and hard-worked my way to knocking 16 whole years off my body’s age!!

Apparently, Metabolic age is a “number that comes from comparing your Basal Metabolic Rate with the Basal Metabolic Rate average of your chronological age group. Depending on how you compare, you are assigned a metabolic age number that can be lower or higher than your chronological age. A metabolic age younger than your chronological age generally means that you are fitter and in better health than the average, the lower the age the better in shape you are. An older metabolic age points towards being less healthy and fit than your peers and if it’s much older than your chronological age this should be considered a wake up call." (www.purelifestyle.co.uk)

Clearly there’s still a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng way to go but HOW GOOD IS THAT ! That’s the best indicator I’ve had YET that I am on the right track and finally I feel a little as if the spell that scale has cast upon me for so long has been broken. It’s kind of about more than just a number every Saturday morning!!! I need to know I am getting healthier. Chris the PT said I should try and view exercise not just about weight loss. Easy for him to say,, he’s not inside my head – the head that still translates images of super-skinny girls as ‘beautiful’ and ‘desired’. I’m reeeeeeeeeeeeealllly trying to change that but it’s kind of ingrained, y’know? Even with weight loss, I have a ‘sensible’ weight loss goal in my head that I publicly will share, but then I actually think in my head that I have a ‘real’ weight loss goal that is quite a bit different than that!!!

ARGHHHHHH I am a total Muppet!!! Get your head in the game Elizabeth! I realised this week that I am still so motivated by the aesthetics of weight loss – for all my jibber-jabbering about the pursuit of a healthy lifestyle! I WILL NOT BE RULED BY THAT SCALE OR BY A WARPED MENTAL IMAGE OF WHAT I *THINK* I SHOULD LOOK LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, as I said, mixed bag – all sorts of insane emotions are spinning about – I almost miss my Depo Provera induced nullified emotional state!! HAHAHA (– not really!!)

Ok, so onto the planning for the week….

Tonight I work late, so will do my brand spanking new weights and core programme from my PT, as I won’t have time at 9pm to get to the gym for a class or a run. (memo to me GET A FLUORESCENT JACKET TO RUN IN AT NIGHT!) then Wednesday is all new running programme (intervals and something called ‘clocks’ which I have never heard of – keep ya posted) then Body Pump and Pilates. I am making warm quinoa salad tonight for dinner and having leftovers tomorrow for lunch, PLUS my grocer shop gets delivered this evening so Old Mother Hubbard I will be no longer! No major plans for the weekend – had a wonderful Saturday night with my friend Karen in Liverpool having elegant cocktails all night. So a quiet one this week. God, it’s only Tuesday and I am already thinking about the weekend! MADNESS!!!


Right – must dash – gotta go counsel some young people. Maybe I’ll CBT myself while I am at it!!!!


Love to you all xoxox

Inching my 'weigh' to a hot bod!

Hey dudes!

So this week – actually for the past 2 weeks - I’ve been struggling a bit with eating, feeling stuck in a rut and not very ‘clean’ with food. Dunno what it is – maybe the dark evenings and general winter hibernation vibes, I’m still motivated but last night completely did not feel like working out – for the first time in about 5 weeks. So I didn’t.

I’m hovering over this next stone zone and hoping and trying and counting and tracking to get underneath it but I don’t feel like it’s happening AT ALL!

So last night, instead of having a pity party, I decided to be spurred on by a recent post by Jen (www.priorfatgirl.com) to take my measurements. I don’t think I told you but I spent most of Sunday afternoon in my underwear (no, not THAT – minds out of the gutter please!!) trying on all my old clothes that I’ve hoarded. Er helloooooooo whole new wardrobe! So I know that my body shape has changed and morphed into getting towards the being I want to be. I was intrigued to know what was happening with the old tape measure.

I took my measurements first in May this year (idiot that I am, I soooooo should have done them when I first started with the PT) and then again in July but haven’t done them since

Needless to say I am WELL BUZZING off the results….

Check this out!

July 2009 Nov 2009 Total

Waist -2 inches -3 inches -5 !!

Hips -2 inches -3 inches -5 !!

Bust -2 inches -2 inches -4 !!

Bicep -1 inch -2 inches -3 !!

Thigh -2 inches -1 inch -3 !!




So, ladies and gents, when you put it like that it’s MUCH easier to feel good about the BLOODY SCALE WHICH WILL NOT FREAKING WELL MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I urge you to take your measurements!

Here endeth the lesson

Heaps of lurve

Liz xoxo

Plots and Plans....

I love this time of year. I love the cold, crisp mornings and how the pavement twinkles with the promise of magic when darkness falls (at about 4pm!) I love all the rituals and traditions that accompany this time of year. Some are particular to my family or my friends, and some are universal. For example. In my family, we never acknowledge All Hallows’ Eve. My sister was born on October 31st and would always have a full on hissy fit if ever the word were uttered in her presence. My dad was also a teacher and thus to open the door to his own pupils in the comfort of his own home would have been asking for trouble. So on Halloween we do something different…this year we went to Manchester where my sister lives to eat at an amazing tapas restaurant www.evuna.com.

Bonfire night is another grand tradition. Wellies, scarves and hats and a brisk walk to the local park for hot potatoes roasted in foil from the bonfire and a firework display to remember the ‘Gunpowder, treason and plot’. As we’ve got older and therefore of legal drinking age, it’s also meant a swift half in the pub on the way home.

I always spend New Year’s Eve with my friends, I am usually the planner and find us a glamorous location for dinner so we can get glammed up and ring in the New Year with style and a sumptuous meal. And then there’s the Secret Santy Balti. This involves a group of friends, curry and a secret santa gift so we don’t have to buy for all 20 of us! We gather at our local and much loved curry house and eat like gluttons and sing Christmas songs!

Other traditions are smaller but nonetheless equally as important. The fact that my mum stops making her traditional Sunday roast in October so we ‘enjoy’ our Christmas dinner more, having Canadian Thanksgiving with the Millars, having our parents around for dinner to discuss who’s going where/doing what/buying what for whom at Christmas. Cheery reunions with friends and loved ones from far and wide as they return for the festive season. And then there is Christmas itself……2 long (blissful) weeks of eating, drinking and being merry.


What’s the common theme here?

FOOD! Or, consumption!

I am a creature of habit. You know by now that I fully meet the clinical criteria for having OCD tendencies and habits that become obsessions. I am very much an ‘all or nothing’ kinda gal. Last Christmas was ‘all AND nothing’, as in I ate and drank everything in sight AND did nothing in the way of exercise.

Because of my ‘habits’ and rituals, I can get easily stressed if things do not happen as I feel they should (Autistic Spectrum Disorder, anyone??!!) and yet pretty much all of my much-beloved Autumnal and Festive Season traditions centre around food and/or alcohol!

The past month or so I have really hit my stride (pun intended) with my workout schedule and eating regime…..(whole other post on habits and rituals coming up hahaha!) and whilst I can feel my blood pressure rising at the mere thought of interrupting said routine, I need to be realistic . The pace of life will change – hectic in the sense of a million different people to see but relaxed in that I am off work for 2 weeks. And I need to embrace that albeit temporary change. I need a rest! I can’t keep going at this pace of work-uni-exercise-eat right-try-and-fit-husband-and-family-and-friends-in-somewhere-craziness! But when I relax, I don’t want to (as I have in past years) interpret that as permission to slack off and thus undo all the bloody hard work I’ve done this past year.

Guys, I’m stressin’! I need a plan!!!


One good thing though is that this year I don’t belong to the public gym – which shut down last year over the holidays!! This year my gym is open throughout as it’s based in a hotel and leisure club so THANK GOD I’ll be able to stave off some of the food and drink damage in between social events – plus I am off work so I’ll be able to make good use of my time.

But more than that, I want my attitude to Christmas to be different this year or at least to Christmas eating! I adore Christmas and every single thing about it. When I was little my parents used to have to get medication for me from the doctor to give me leading up to Christmas because I used to throw up and be an insomniac from excitement – true story! It’s not the presents or material things either, it’s that honest-to-goodness-peace-on-earth-and-goodwill-toward-men vibe that I adore. That vibe that, for me, is perfectly encapsulated by a combination of the Grinch movie and ‘A Christmas Story’ (Ralphie and the BB Gun). I LOVE IT!

However, I usually get so excited that my good intention go out the window. But not this year. This year will be different. I will eat, drink and be my usual, merry, Christmassy self – but this year I have learnt the value of food as fuel. I am infinitely happier in my own skin and thus have no need or desire to use food as comfort for feeling shitty about myself.

This year will be different.

So what about you my friends?? What’s your Christmas contingency plan! We’re only 43 sleeps away – you’d best get crackin’!!!! Care to share any top tips for survival?!

Lots of love

BFP xoxo